2008 was a very good year. Maybe the best year I've had so far. It wasn't all good, and there are still some problems I'm trying to sort out but most of it was very fun, and I think led me to good places. Let's see, what happened in the past year. I got into college, went on the mission trip to build houses in BSL, fixed things for the end of school, came out to my parents, graduated, had an amazing year at camp where i met some of my best friends and first gf, had an incredibly fun, exciting summer, elected Obama, met the most amazing people in ohio, had the most amazing experience, came home, saw friends and my family, starting interning with CMM. Generally a very good year. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and who my friends are. And what I want to do with my life. :)

( WITH 2008 COMING TO AN END... )

My dad is freaking adorable. So i officially came out to him yesterday, by accident ish. Well, not really. It was just awesome. I don't even know what to say. Basically, he read my college essay. Which is about my lesbian grandmas and how they helped me be comfortable with who I am and everything. And I get in the car from work and he's like, "So I read your essay." "..What'd you think?" "I loved it. It was charming!" Awesome.

And now he's like organizing this LGBT thing for MLK day "finding your voice" thing. I LOVE HIM. And he's like i was inspired from your essay. He's so cute. Ahh. ♥

I cannot believe him. Even if we ignore the fact that we had sex and then he went back to his girlfriend and lied about shit, it's a bad friend thing to do to NOT COME TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY because "i ate like an hour ago so i'm not hungry" and could i call his gf who i clearly hate's cell after dinner? he knows i dont like her. we've fought about it before. so dinner winds up being a lot later because of the T being slow, etc. he calls as is like so whats going on and im like oh dinner in boston do u wanna come idk what we're doing after. and he says oh im not near a t i dont have a ride. and im like um ok well ill call you after then. so i do and hes like i dont have a ride anywhere come to my house. but she's here is that ok.

WHAT THE HELL. number one: his house is right near the T so obviously he was lying or had a ride and was lying about that. second: he just missed my bday party and now he's inviting us over to his house where his gf is gonna be? he is unbelievable dumb. like i cannot believe it. and im trying so hard to get over him and not be in love with him and be civil and not yell even though i want to because he broke my heart but that was really rude. i haven't talked to him yet. i'm not sure what i will say.

he asked me the other whether he was worth the pain? i really don't know how the answer that. he continually hurts me but i was so happy with him i think that it would hurt not to be friends with him.

I feel so awful and horrible and broken.
I think he broke my heart.
I can't stop crying.